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5 Ways to Make Winter Your B*tch
Winter’s here and she’s dripping in ice, ruining lives, and is all that anyone will be talking about for the next four months. That’s Mega-B*tch status which is hard enough to withstand, let alone compete with. How do you throw shade at Mother Nature when she’s the one stealing all the sunshine in the first place? The only way to outdo a Mega-B*tch is to be a BO$$ B*tch. Walton Wood Farm, industry leaders in cruelty-free personal care products, has some secrets and some goodies designed to help you do Winter better than Winter. When Jack Frost claps, we clap back… harder!
Beat the Cold – Rock beats scissors, Kim Kardashian beats Paris Hilton, and hot beats cold. There’s nothing like getting home after a long day and sinking into a warm bath. And there’s no better time of year to do it than winter. Experts in all things comfy, Walton Wood Farm has designed the perfect bath soak formula to wash away your cares, dead skin, and frostbite. When you’re scraping ice off your windshield in the morning, rest assured that come evening time, the Epsom salt base will heal the pain in your tired joints as the warm water thaws out your frozen bones. Hey Winter, thank you for the freezing temperatures, it makes me appreciate my luxury baths even more, B*tch. If you have read this far, congratulations! You get a secret code for 20% off any Walton Wood Farm products good until Feb 15, 2019. Use code: Winter
Pucker Up – Tis the season for Netflix and chill. More snuggles, more staying in, more… kisses. Since the origin of kissing, when the first cavewoman licked food off of the first caveman’s face, women everywhere have been prepared to battle winter’s dry, cracked lips. There’s not a woman alive who doesn’t have lip balm in her winter coat pocket that makes our lips smoother, yummier, and more kissable than ever. Lip balm doesn’t lend itself to summer as there are no pockets in a string bikini. Hey Winter, thank you for the chapped lips, my boyfriend loves the taste of Walton Wood Farm’s Peppermint Buttercream and Grapefruit Maple lip balms, B*tch.
Get Rid of Flaky Friends – The weather is predicting a snowstorm, prepare for falling flakes and icy roads. Too bad our skin doesn’t provide a similar warning: Your skin is getting dry and chapped, prepare for disgusting flakes and dry patches. Luckily, when winter rolls around, we know it’s coming so there’s no need to be a skin psychic. Regular use of Walton Wood Farm’s Peppermint Buttercream sugar scrub will keep you smooth and silky. Hey Winter, thank you for the reminder. I’ll taste your snowflakes while you taste my skin flakes, B*tch.
Be a Smooth Operator – Scraping snow, the bitter cold temperatures, soaked gloves from winter fun, and icy winds can all wreak havoc on delicate hands. Walton Wood Farm’s personal care Winter’s a B*tch line is ready to come to the rescue… with hand rescue. The fluffy Shea Butter, Cocoa Butter, and Japanese Green Tea whip will prepare you to take on any challenge winter throws your way… with your own two - perfectly smooth- hands. Soft hands are better to throw snowballs with, B*tch.
Find Yourself - Personal care goes deeper than beauty products. It’s about finding your voice, your spirit, your passions. Winter is a great time of year to stay in and spend time with a loved one you may be neglecting… YOU! A true BO$$ B*tch knows who she is which creates confidence that never goes away. Winter, on the other hand, will be gone before you know it.